A Hurt So Strong

I was browsing Pintrest today and came across something interesting. I am constantly looking for gear that could help Liam’s mobility and came across this thing called the Zip Zac. You can check them out at www.myzipzac.com. It’s pretty much a Bumbo on wheels for kids who legs don’t work. Liam’s orthopedist is concerned that Liam might not be able to crawl due to the weakness of his legs and mostly his dislocated hips. It’s hard for any parent to hear their kid’s chances of crawling let alone walking are pretty slim. So as a mother I have become a research Nazi to find things to better Liam’s chance of mobility. Unfortuently the Zip Zac is too expensive for our taste, so what’s a mother and father to do then? Well first take a trip to Wal-Mart, Target, Babies R Us, and Lowes to find supplies to build one ourselves. When you can’t afford certain things you find ways around it and get it done yourself. The only problem we are going to run into is finding a seat that he will fit in. With the way Liam’s hips are he doesn’t fit in a Bumbo. So we have to find a seat that supports him and that is wide enough for his hips.

When I asked Dr. Albanese about Liam crawling it kind of hit me but not as hard as it did today. When I found the Zip Zac I was really excited about it but that excitement quickly turned into hurt. As soon as I saw the $900-1,100 price tag I immediately started balling my eyes out. I think Liam’s chances of crawling finally really hit me. I just need to keep telling myself that Liam is doing great things and he is only 6 months. This whole situation has been pretty tough on me. I know I seem pretty with it. But at times I feel like I am getting shredded alive. I can honestly say that this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I would take everything else that has happened to me a million times over if I could give Liam working legs. If I could take the pain away from all the stuff that has happened to him and is going to happen to him. If I could take the the emotional burden away from him that he might have in the future. He’s my precious baby. Always have been and always will be no matter what. It’s so hard to explain the pain a mother feels when he baby is hurting and the restriction he has and will have. The only way to know is to feel it. It just rips your heart to shreds. I love Liam more than anyone could EVER understand and that love will only grow. I can’t believe a love so strong could grow stronger.